A dream telling Richard Friesen he could be better motivated to be just that, and then help others do the same.
What’s your story?
My story starts with working as a market maker for an arbitrage firm on the floor of the Chicago Board of Trade. From there I went to the floor of the Pacific Exchange. However, my income didn’t match the potential. I learned through a dream that I was done with my internal limitations and increased my income many times. I started my own options trading firm but some traders I hired had their own psychological limitations. How to overcome those limitations and intentionally creating a success mindset is my current focus.
What excites you most about your industry?
My “industry” is our mindset. I have reviewed over 2000 psychological and belief assessments, created courses and online groups. I have personally coached dozens of clients. What is exciting is that my client’s “problems” are simply beliefs that repeat behaviors that no longer serve them. In other words, problems can “disappear” with an “ah-ha.” My work with clients is to invite them to understand their survival reactions and step into beliefs that honor their values and support their goals.
What drives you in business to push beyond what other people consider normal?
Normal is a combination of our survival mechanisms, biases, thought processes, beliefs, and behaviors. From within this “normal” context, we repeat behaviors that no longer serve us, but are not able, in real-time, to create new behaviors that serve us better. How do we push beyond “normal” to create a new context out of which a better life emerges? This is the process that is the focus of my work. How can we create a new context that does not require discipline or willpower to make the changes that serve us better?
What have been the most useful skills you have learnt and applied in your journey?
The most useful skills have been self-awareness, acceptance of what I discover, and then asking “What do I want now?” I call this process the “Golden Keys.” The next skill is “not knowing.” I understand that my map of the world is a map and not the real world. My work is to continually improve my map and as I get better at matching my map to “reality” my life improves. Finally, being able to articulate my values and align my truth and conversations to what is important.
What’s the best piece of advice you ever received?
My beliefs, absolute truth, and certainty about the world are simply my creation. As I let go of absolute truth, I no longer need to defend my truth and who I am. This opens up a new world of relationships, discovery, and connection. Next is to focus on my process, not hope for an outcome. If I continually improve my process, outcomes are also improved. But the focus is on improving the process.
Who inspires you?
My grandchildren! I want to leave them a wonderful world of joy, hope, meaning, and opportunity. When I look at the cultural shifts around the world, I ask, from a personal psychological filter, what invites people to their highest self? What set of social and political agreements encourages wellbeing, responsibility, care for others, and excellence?
What have you learnt recently that blew you away?
That our “tribe” drives most of our beliefs. We conform to the news we listen to, the information we consume on the internet, and the people we associate with. What I have encountered are clients with a belief system that no longer serves them, discover new beliefs and behaviors that feel better, honor their values, and get them to their goals. But when we look at what they might lose…it is a connection to their existing community, alienation, and loneliness. They prefer to stay in a belief system that reduces the risk of being shunned.
If you had your time again, what would you do differently?
Oh boy…the answer is nothing unless I knew what I now know. If I look at the big stretch of my life from teenage to my forties, I was operating out of a survival pattern that I learned from an early age. I was unaware that this was simply a pattern and within that context, I was not able to see, that as an adult, this was my choice. Now I have created new beliefs and behaviors that serve me better which in turn has shaped a new identity.
How do you unwind?
I run almost every morning and I love reading by the fireplace in the evening. But the most important “unwind” is watching my grandchildren discover their world with enthusiasm. (And yes, clean up their “enthusiastic” discoveries.)
What is a major mindset change, belief shift or ‘ah ha’ moment that you’ve experienced in relation to your business?
It was a dramatic moment in 1995. A voice woke me up in the middle of the night saying “You’re not worth $200,000 a year.” I had been struggling to get my profits above that amount for three years. The voice was the voice from the past and I realized it was no longer true. I went to the floor of the Pacific Exchange and fought for the best spot in the pit and went on to make many times that amount which capitalized my start-up trading firm.
Everyone in business should read this book:
- “Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise” Anders Ericsson
- “Loving What Is – The Four Questions That Can Change Your Life” Byron Katie
- “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” Carol Dweck
- “The Book of Not Knowing” Peter Ralston
Shameless plug for your business:
I work with money managers, active traders, and entrepreneurs who want a great relationship with money, wealth, and success. I have online courses, live meetings, and private coaching. Because of my background as a therapist and training with the Gestalt Institute, Master’s Certification in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programing) I am able to invite my clients to become aware of the beliefs and behaviors that drive symptoms. My Book “Conversations with Money” is coming out this fall and deals with our subconscious anchors that prevent rapport and joy with money and success.
How can people connect with you?
Social Media Links?
My bio is here: https://mindmusclesfortraders.com/about-richard-friesen/
This interview is part of the CallumConnects series.