How ‘Sorry’ Can Make Talented Professionals Invisible, According to Heather Monahan

In a recent LinkedIn post, Heather Monahan discusses how seemingly small linguistic habits can significantly impact a professional’s perceived value and influence. Monahan challenges her audience to reconsider their default language, arguing that certain common phrases can inadvertently undermine their standing and make them appear less confident or capable.

Monahan highlights the pervasive nature of what she terms “invisible mistakes” in communication, asserting that these are often more detrimental than a lack of technical skills. She points out that for many talented individuals, their own language choices can be the primary barrier to recognition.

“The mistake that keeps talented people invisible is almost never a skills gap. It’s language.”

The business leader identifies four specific phrases she advises professionals to eliminate or modify, offering alternatives that she believes project greater confidence and self-respect. These are not minor tweaks, according to Monahan, but fundamental shifts in how one communicates value.

Eliminating the “Sorry” Reflex

One of the most prominent phrases Monahan targets is the word “sorry.” She recounts a personal anecdote about apologizing to a stranger at the gym for reaching for a dumbbell, an action that required no apology. This, she explains, illustrates how “apologizing had just become my default setting.” Monahan suggests that reserving “sorry” for situations where one has genuinely made a mistake is crucial.

Instead of a reflexive “sorry,” Monahan proposes using phrases like “Thank you for your patience” or “Excuse me.” She argues that using “sorry” unnecessarily is akin to “announcing, out loud, that you come second.” This, in her view, diminishes one’s presence and authority in professional interactions.

“Reserve ‘sorry’ for when you’ve actually done something wrong. Otherwise, you’re announcing, out loud, that you come second.”

Replacing Tentative Language with Assertiveness

Monahan also addresses phrases that introduce uncertainty, such as “I feel like…” She contends that this phrasing weakens a statement that could otherwise be presented as a fact. For example, “I feel like this is the right call” is less impactful than a direct assertion like “This is the right call.” According to Monahan, the word “feel” should be reserved for expressing genuine emotions, not for stating professional opinions or decisions.

Another linguistic habit Monahan advises against is the reflexive “yes.” She suggests implementing a brief pause before responding to requests. This pause, she explains, allows for more considered responses and helps individuals gain control over their time. Saying “yes” to every request by default, Monahan warns, trains others to continue making demands without considering the individual’s capacity or priorities.

Constructive Disagreement and Alternative Solutions

Furthermore, Monahan tackles the problematic phrase, “I don’t agree, but I’ll make it work.” She advocates for a more direct and constructive approach: “I don’t agree, and here’s my alternative.” Monahan argues that silently agreeing to a course of action one believes is flawed is detrimental to all parties involved, particularly the company. Presenting an alternative, even if it is not ultimately adopted, is a more valuable contribution than passive compliance.

“None of these require more talent. They just require noticing the pattern, which is the hard part, and exactly why most people never fix it.”

Monahan concludes by emphasizing that addressing these language patterns requires self-awareness and conscious effort, which she identifies as the most challenging aspects. She notes that mastering these communication shifts is key to unlocking greater professional visibility and impact.