Beyond ‘What Do You Do?’: Vanessa Van Edwards on Elevating Conversation

In a recent LinkedIn post, Vanessa Van Edwards challenges a common networking icebreaker, arguing that the ubiquitous question, “So, what do you do?” can stifle genuine connection. As Vanessa Van Edwards highlights, this seemingly innocuous question often leads conversations down a predictable and unmemorable path.

The Pitfalls of the Standard Introduction

Vanessa Van Edwards suggests that relying on routine questions like “What do you do?” can inadvertently put conversations on autopilot. This can prevent individuals from truly understanding each other beyond their professional titles. She emphasizes the power of thoughtful inquiry in fostering deeper engagement.

“It’s one of the fastest ways to send a conversation into autopilot.”

According to Vanessa Van Edwards, the goal of meaningful interaction is to move beyond superficial exchanges. By shifting the focus from a person’s job to their experiences and passions, one can unlock more engaging dialogue.

Crafting More Memorable Interactions

Vanessa Van Edwards proposes a simple yet effective strategy: replace standard questions with ones that prompt more personal and revealing answers. This approach, she argues, can transform the dynamic of social and professional encounters.

The Impact of Questioning

As Vanessa Van Edwards points out, the way we ask questions directly influences the quality of the responses we receive and the overall trajectory of a conversation. A minor adjustment in our questioning can lead to a significant shift in conversational depth and interest.

“A small change in what you ask can completely change where a conversation goes.”

The author of “The Science of People” advocates for a more intentional approach to communication. Instead of defaulting to professional inquiries, she encourages exploring topics that allow individuals to share their unique perspectives, interests, and stories. This, in turn, makes interactions more memorable and authentic.

Finding Your Go-To Question

Vanessa Van Edwards concludes her post by inviting her audience to consider their own favorite questions that spark interesting conversations. This encourages a broader reflection on communication strategies and the art of building rapport.

“What’s your favorite question to ask?”

Vanessa Van Edwards’s insights underscore the importance of intentionality in communication. By consciously choosing more engaging questions, individuals can foster stronger connections and create more meaningful experiences in both personal and professional settings. Her advice serves as a valuable reminder that the quality of our conversations often hinges on the quality of our questions.