Authentic Leadership: Christine Carrillo on Leading with Kindness, Not Perfection

In a recent LinkedIn post, Christine Carrillo discusses the common struggles leaders face and offers a compelling alternative to traditional, often harsh, leadership styles. Carrillo challenges the notion that leaders must be tough and demanding to be effective, arguing instead for a more human-centered approach focused on presence and kindness.

Carrillo begins by addressing the self-doubt many leaders experience, contrasting their internal anxieties with the positive impact they often have on their teams. “You think you are failing as a leader. But someone out there still thinks about you,” Carrillo writes, highlighting this common disconnect.

The Illusion of Perfection in Leadership

Carrillo’s post critiques the pressure many leaders feel to project an image of unwavering strength and perfection. This often leads to adopting leadership styles that are inauthentic and ultimately counterproductive. The author points out the internal conflict this creates:

“Inside your head? You are second-guessing every decision. You are wondering if you are too soft. You are thinking you should be tougher, more demanding, more CEO-like.”

However, Carrillo argues that team members rarely remember missed deadlines or perceived softness. Instead, they recall moments of genuine connection and support. As Carrillo notes, “They do not remember the missed deadlines. They remember the moment you saw them.” Specific examples provided include instances where a leader showed genuine care, defended a team member, or expressed belief in their potential.

Leading with Presence and Kindness

The core of Carrillo’s message is a reframing of what constitutes effective leadership for long-term success and loyalty. The post emphasizes that lasting leadership is built not on flawlessness, but on genuine human connection.

Kindness as a Retention Strategy

Carrillo asserts that true loyalty is cultivated through empathy and understanding, rather than strictness. “They do not build loyalty through toughness. They build it through kindness,” the post states. This approach fosters an environment where employees feel valued as individuals, not just as cogs in a machine.

“The highest leverage move is treating people like humans. It is the one thing that makes retention, referrals, and reputation automatic.”

According to Carrillo, attempting to emulate a “CEO-like” persona that doesn’t align with one’s true self is a mistake. Instead, leaders should focus on authenticity. Carrillo’s advice is to “Stop trying to be someone you’re not” and embrace one’s own leadership style, grounded in treating people with respect and humanity.

The Power of Authentic Leadership

Carrillo concludes by advocating for a leadership style that prioritizes authenticity and human connection, suggesting that this is the key to sustainable business growth. By leading with kindness and presence, leaders can build teams that are not only loyal but also contribute to scaling the business effectively.

“Lead with kindness. People don’t just work for you. They build with you. And when they build with you, the business scales without the chaos.”

The underlying message is that genuine leadership, characterized by empathy and authentic presence, is far more powerful and sustainable than a façade of perfection or toughness. Carrillo encourages leaders to embrace their authentic selves to foster a thriving and loyal team, ultimately leading to business success without unnecessary friction.