Beyond ‘Can’t Control’: Ani Filipova Challenges Conventional Wisdom on Personal Agency

In a recent LinkedIn post, Ani Filipova challenges a common piece of advice, arguing that the adage “Don’t stress over what you can’t control” can be a disservice to individuals, particularly driven professionals. Filipova contends that the human brain is adept at distinguishing between genuine limitations and self-imposed excuses, suggesting that persistent stress often signals an area where control is, in fact, possible but perhaps perceived as too costly to pursue.

Filipova draws on her extensive experience, stating:

“For 20 years at Citi, I told myself I couldn’t control: The politics, the culture, the golden handcuffs. That story felt responsible. It sounded mature. It was completely wrong.”

This personal reflection serves as a foundation for her argument that many perceived uncontrollable factors are, in reality, within an individual’s sphere of influence, even if the path to exerting that influence is challenging.

Redefining Control: External Reactions vs. Internal Decisions

A key distinction Filipova makes is between what is genuinely outside of one’s purview and what is merely perceived as such. She posits that while external reactions to decisions are uncontrollable, the act of making those decisions is not.

As Ani Filipova points out:

“What I genuinely couldn’t control: Other people’s reactions to my decisions. What I absolutely could control: Making the decisions anyway.”

This reframing encourages a shift in focus from managing the unpredictable responses of others to confidently executing one’s own judgment and actions. Filipova suggests that much of the advice promoting passive acceptance is, in her view, akin to sedation, hindering proactive engagement by confusing patience with a lack of agency.

Practical Strategies for Identifying True Control

To help individuals navigate this complex landscape, Filipova outlines a three-step process for accurately assessing what is within their control:

1. Audit Your ‘Can’t Control’ List

Filipova advises readers to list their stressors and critically examine each item. The crucial question, according to her, is whether an issue is truly uncontrollable or if the perceived cost of taking action is simply too high. She highlights that the gap between what we can do and what we are willing to do is often the source of significant stress.

2. Focus on Inputs, Not Outcomes

The post emphasizes controlling the controllable elements that lead to a desired outcome, rather than fixating on the outcome itself. As Ani Filipova illustrates:

“You can’t control whether you business succeeds. But you can control doing everything possible to make it succeed.”

This principle extends to career progression, where individuals can control the conversations and efforts required for advancement, even if the final promotion decision rests with others.

3. Name the Real Fear

Filipova suggests that the phrase “I can’t control it” often serves as a mask for a deeper fear of failure. She argues that acknowledging this fear is not a sign of weakness but a crucial step in understanding the root of the stress. The real challenge, in her analysis, is not the inability to control a situation, but the paralysis induced by the fear of attempting to influence it and potentially failing.

In conclusion, Ani Filipova’s insights on LinkedIn offer a compelling reevaluation of personal agency, urging professionals to move beyond passive acceptance and proactively identify and act upon the areas within their true sphere of control.