In a recent LinkedIn post, Shulin Lee bravely shares personal reflections on how childhood experiences can profoundly impact parenting, urging a conscious effort to break harmful generational cycles. Lee opens by acknowledging the common experience of childhood physical discipline, a practice often justified as a means to build strength.
As Shulin Lee notes:
“We were told it made us stronger. So we stayed quiet. Worked hard. Told ourselves we were fine.”
Lee draws a direct line from these past experiences to present-day parenting challenges, admitting to reacting with yelling or emotional withdrawal when their own children push back. This vulnerability highlights a core theme: the unconscious carrying of past wounds into current relationships.
Unlearning the Norms of Past Generations
A central argument presented by Shulin Lee is the critical distinction between what is not our fault and what is within our control. While acknowledging that past upbringing is not a personal failing, Lee emphasizes that current parenting choices are a matter of personal responsibility.
This realization, as Lee articulates, is both daunting and necessary:
“And that’s scary. Because it means we HAVE TO unlearn what felt normal.”
The post introduces a conversation with parenting expert Kelly Tay on the podcast “The Real Reason,” positioning Tay’s insights as crucial guidance for parents seeking to understand and modify their own behaviors. The discussion, according to Lee, aims to provide perspectives that could have benefited parents decades earlier.
The Importance of Seeing Clearly to Heal
Identifying the Roots of Parenting Styles
Shulin Lee touches upon the underlying reasons why individuals parent the way they do, suggesting that current behaviors are often rooted in deeply ingrained patterns from one’s own childhood. This exploration is framed not as an exercise in blame, but as a vital step towards self-awareness.
Understanding the Impact on Children
The conversation with Kelly Tay, as highlighted by Lee, delves into the real effects these parenting patterns have on children. This aspect underscores the urgency and importance of addressing these cycles before they cause further harm.
Breaking the Cycle
Ultimately, Shulin Lee’s message, amplified through the discussion with Tay, is one of hope and empowerment. The post advocates for a conscious effort to unlearn harmful habits and build healthier ways of relating to one’s children. Lee stresses the foundational principle:
“Because you can’t fix what you can’t see.”
By bringing attention to these often-unseen patterns, Shulin Lee encourages listeners and readers to engage in the difficult but rewarding work of healing and fostering healthier family dynamics for future generations.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Shulin Lee on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on March 27, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →