In a recent LinkedIn post, Brené Brown highlights the critical first steps in developing shame resilience, drawing from her research and a new episode of her podcast, ‘The Curiosity Shop,’ co-hosted with Adam Grant. Brown emphasizes that understanding and identifying shame are paramount to managing its powerful influence.
According to Brown, the initial phase of shame resilience involves not only recognizing when one is experiencing shame but also pinpointing the specific triggers that initiated the feeling. She explains that individuals with high levels of shame resilience possess a keen awareness of the physiological manifestations of shame.
“Our research participants with the highest levels of shame resilience can recognize the physical symptoms of shame—they know the physiology of it, and that’s a huge cue to pay attention.”
Understanding the Physiology of Shame
Brown shares her personal cues for recognizing shame, illustrating the concept with vivid physical sensations. She notes that when she experiences a slowing of time, dry mouth, tunnel vision, and a desire to disappear, she interprets these as signals of shame. Her immediate response in such moments is a deliberate pause before reacting.
“When I feel time slow down, my mouth gets dry, and I struggle with tunnel vision and wanting to disappear, my saying is, ‘This feels like shame. I will NOT talk, text, or type until I get back on my emotional feet.'”
This practice of intentional non-reaction, as outlined by Brown, is crucial for preventing impulsive behaviors that can exacerbate feelings of shame or lead to disconnection.
Identifying Shame Shields: Strategies of Disconnection
Brown further explores how a lack of understanding and awareness around shame can lead individuals to employ what she terms ‘shame shields.’ These are strategies of disconnection, a concept developed by researchers Linda Hartling and her colleagues at the Stone Center at Wellesley.
She identifies three primary shame shields:
- Moving away: This involves withdrawing, hiding, silencing oneself, and keeping secrets.
- Moving toward: This strategy centers on appeasing others and seeking their approval.
- Moving against: This approach is characterized by aggression and using shame to combat shame, often by attempting to gain power over others.
Brené Brown argues that while these shields may offer temporary relief or a sense of protection, they ultimately hinder authenticity and wholehearted living.
“Like all armor, these are appealing forms of self-protection, but they move us away from our authenticity and wholeheartedness.”
By understanding these patterns of disconnection, Brown suggests, individuals can begin to challenge their reliance on these protective mechanisms and move toward more courageous and connected ways of being.
The insights shared in Brown’s LinkedIn post are further elaborated in Episode 6 of ‘The Curiosity Shop,’ available on podcast platforms and YouTube.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Brené Brown on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on April 23, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →