In a recent LinkedIn post, Florence Divet ☀️ explores a common paradox in leadership: the disconnect between a leader’s intention to be empathetic and the actual impact of their actions, particularly when facing high-pressure situations. Drawing on over two decades of experience coaching leaders globally, Divet highlights that while many leaders possess empathy, it often falters when deadlines loom and performance metrics intensify.
Divet identifies a critical pattern where leaders tend to judge their empathy based on their intentions, whereas their teams assess it by its tangible effects. This divergence, she argues, can erode trust within an organization.
“Leaders judge empathy by intention. Teams judge it by impact. That gap is where trust dies quietly.”
The Pressure Cooker of Leadership
Florence Divet ☀️ points out that under pressure, the manifestation of empathy can shift negatively. What might appear as empathy can, in reality, become premature advice-giving, a tendency to fix problems rather than truly listen, or even a superficial display of attention, such as nodding while simultaneously engaging with other tasks.
Shifting from Solving to Seeing
A core piece of advice from Divet is to pivot from immediate problem-solving to genuine observation and understanding. She suggests that when an employee expresses feeling overwhelmed, a leader’s first instinct should not be to jump into prioritizing or offering solutions.
Instead, Divet recommends a more reflective approach. She advises leaders to start by acknowledging the employee’s feelings, for example, by saying, “Sounds heavy. What’s the part that weighs on you the most?” This opens the door for deeper communication rather than shutting it down with premature fixes.
Decoding Unspoken Needs
Florence Divet ☀️ also emphasizes the importance of listening for what is *not* being said. The common phrase “I’m fine, just busy” can often mask significant underlying stress. Divet encourages leaders to probe gently:
“I’m fine, just busy” often means “I’m drowning but trying to look competent.” Ask: “What are you holding back or not saying, because you don’t want to bother anyone?”
By asking such questions, leaders can uncover the true extent of an employee’s struggles and offer more appropriate support.
The Power of Validation and Presence
Validation, as Florence Divet ☀️ explains, is crucial before attempting to redirect or problem-solve. She states that validating a person’s feelings doesn’t equate to agreeing with their situation but rather signifies an openness to their experience. A phrase like, “I get why this is frustrating. Anyone in your position would feel the same,” can be instrumental in maintaining open communication.
Furthermore, Divet underscores the often-underestimated power of non-verbal communication. She urges leaders to “Use your face. Seriously.” This involves making eye contact, nodding, softening facial expressions, and leaning in slightly – active physical cues that signal genuine attention and care, reinforcing that the employee is truly being heard.
“People don’t feel heard by words alone. Slow down. Look at them. Nod. Soften your eyes. Lean in slightly. Let the silence sit for a beat.”
Empathy vs. Rescuing
Florence Divet ☀️ makes a clear distinction between empathy and rescuing. Empathy, in her view, is about understanding another’s experience, not taking on their burdens. She suggests leaders should aim to understand the situation and then collaboratively determine where support is most needed, rather than stepping in to fix everything.
A practical application of this is asking, “I hear how tough this is. What part do you want to take on, and where would support help?” This approach empowers the individual while still offering assistance.
The Follow-Up Factor
Finally, Divet highlights the significance of follow-up actions. True empathy is demonstrated not just in the moment but through subsequent check-ins. A simple follow-up, such as “Quick check-in. How’s that situation now?” a couple of days later, confirms the leader’s sincerity and reinforces trust.
As Florence Divet ☀️ concludes, if validation is skipped, logic alone cannot restore a sense of safety. Her insights provide leaders with actionable strategies to cultivate genuine empathy that resonates with their teams, especially during challenging times.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Florence Divet ☀️ on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on March 3, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →