In a recent LinkedIn post, Emily Lyons offers a sharp critique of modern dating culture, arguing that the pursuit of “efficiency” has led to widespread loneliness and the erosion of genuine human connection. Lyons uses the public reaction to a suggestion by billionaire Bill Ackman about how to initiate conversations as a jumping-off point to explore the deeper societal shifts away from direct, in-person interaction.
The Backlash Against Basic Human Interaction
Lyons highlights the disproportionate negative reaction to Bill Ackman’s suggestion for young men to approach others and politely ask, “May I meet you?” She observes that this simple advice was met with widespread mockery and memes, which she finds deeply concerning.
“We just bullied a billionaire for suggesting people introduce themselves in person. No wonder we’re all lonely.”
According to Lyons, the online outrage signifies a broader societal issue where basic human interaction has become “alien.” She contrasts this with the normalization of behaviors like “swiping through humans like products, texting 15 people simultaneously, ghosting after great dates, and letting algorithms decide compatibility.” Lyons questions why the person advocating for directness is labeled as “crazy” while these less personal methods are accepted.
Dating Apps: Designed for Engagement, Not Connection
A significant portion of Lyons’s analysis focuses on the business model of dating apps. She contends that these platforms are not designed for users to find lasting relationships, but rather to keep them engaged and paying.
“Dating apps are built on one truth: if you find your person, you stop paying them. They’re designed like slot machines. Just enough wins to keep you hooked. Just enough ‘almosts’ to keep you swiping.”
As Emily Lyons points out, “You’re not the customer. You’re the product.” This framing suggests that users’ data and continued engagement are the valuable commodities, not successful matches.
The Core Principles of Real Connection
Lyons argues that genuine connection requires elements that are often absent in the digital dating landscape. She identifies three key components:
- Real courage: The willingness to face potential rejection by initiating contact.
- Full presence: Being focused on one interaction rather than juggling multiple conversations.
- True vulnerability: Presenting one’s authentic self, rather than a curated online profile.
She posits that the modern emphasis on “efficiency” has led individuals to trade these essential elements, contributing to the generation’s historical levels of loneliness. Lyons asserts that what Ackman described – confidence, authenticity, and directness – is precisely what many people seek, yet it is often dismissed as “cringe” online.
“Real connection requires three things apps eliminate: Real courage (actual ‘I might hear no’ courage), full presence (not juggling 6 conversations), and true vulnerability for who you are (your actual self, not a curated profile).”
Lyons concludes by urging readers to reconsider their approach to initiating connections. She suggests that the fear of rejection is overstated and that the potential reward of a “real conversation” with someone “real” is worth the risk. In her view, the problem isn’t Ackman’s advice, but society’s current aversion to direct, authentic interaction, which has fostered a multi-billion dollar industry designed to circumvent it.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Emily Lyons on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on November 18, 2025 | View original post on LinkedIn →