In a recent LinkedIn post, Niluka Kavanagh explores the surprising lessons learned from cultural differences in Eastern Europe, particularly regarding dating norms, and draws parallels to broader trends in modern relationships and workplace interactions. Kavanagh uses her travel experiences to highlight a perceived shift from genuine effort to what she terms “low effort” being mistaken for “modernity.”
Kavanagh contrasts her experiences in Eastern Europe with what she observes elsewhere, noting the prevalence of traditional gestures. She states:
“Flowers are the norm. Opening the door is the norm. Taking your jacket is the norm. Paying for dinner is the norm (not just birthdays or ‘special occasions’)… So it’s not about outdated roles. It’s more about effort.”
The Confusion Between Low Effort and Modernity
The core of Kavanagh’s argument centers on a societal drift where ease and minimal input are increasingly equated with being contemporary or progressive. This trend, she suggests, is not confined to romantic relationships but is also evident in friendships and professional settings.
According to Kavanagh, this manifests in the workplace as:
- Less recognition, just expectations
- No thought, just “we’re all busy”
- Fewer personalizations, just a blanket message
She emphasizes that while individuals may not always vocalize their feelings about a lack of consideration, the impact is felt. “People can feel it,” Kavanagh writes. “They might not say anything… but we as humans remember those who made us feel considered, and who didn’t.”
Effort as a Deliberate Choice and Its Impact
Kavanagh posits that effort, regardless of cultural context, is a conscious choice. She illustrates this point with a personal anecdote from her corporate career:
“As for flowers in this particular example – all I can say is the old romantic in me was simply very happy 💐”
She recalls joining a new team at a Big 4 firm, where a partner sent a personalized welcome hamper to her home. This gesture, including local cookies, bath salts, and a handwritten note, stood in stark contrast to the typical corporate welcome. Kavanagh highlights the profound impact of such thoughtful actions, stating:
“Just IMAGINE the impact this had when the norm was a simple ‘Hey, welcome to the team’ email. Small gestures, big impact.”
This experience led Kavanagh to question if “effort is the modern day currency we need to bring back.” She encourages leaders to consider the value of “moments of thought and consideration that maybe aren’t always expected.”
Broader Implications for Leadership and Connection
Kavanagh’s insights suggest a need for a re-evaluation of how we approach interactions in all facets of life. By focusing on deliberate effort and personalization, individuals and leaders can foster stronger connections and create more meaningful experiences.
As Niluka Kavanagh concludes, the small things, when imbued with thought and care, can indeed feel quite significant, potentially redefining what it means to be “modern” in our relationships and professional lives.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Niluka Kavanagh on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on April 21, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →