If you’re someone with power or access, don’t just say you’ll open doors, show people how.
Offer one clear way to connect instead of a vague “let’s stay in touch.”
You see it everywhere: in boardrooms, conferences, mentorship programs, and community spaces. Someone with genuine intent and tremendous access says,
“I’d love to support you. Please connect with me on LinkedIn.”
And then… silence.
It’s not hypocrisy. It’s psychology.
The Badge of Generosity
Offering help feels good. It makes us feel generous, kind, or important without demanding much in return.
It’s a form of performative generosity: a way to wear the badge without paying the cost.
Real generosity always costs something; time, energy, and the comfort of staying uninvolved. Most of us have fallen into the trap of good intentions without real follow-through; I know I have. The desire to help was genuine, but the action stopped short.
From Good Intent to Clear Action
If you’re someone with influence, experience, or resources others are seeking, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to turn that good intent into clear, actionable generosity.
Instead of leaving others guessing, be explicit about what support you can realistically give. For example:
- “I can’t offer ongoing mentorship, but here’s one thing I can do.”
- “If you’re working on X, I’m happy to offer Y.”
- “I make one introduction a month, here’s how to request it.”
Clarity transforms your intent from symbolic to strategic.
How I’ve Applied This Myself
I’ve had to learn this lesson firsthand.
Now, I block a few hours each month for meaningful conversations and introductions. I offer structured ways for deeper support. And when there’s strong alignment, I partner more formally.
It’s not about helping everyone, it’s about helping intentionally.
Generosity That Moves Things Forward
True generosity isn’t about saying yes to everyone; it’s about giving precisely where you can create momentum for someone else.
When people with access make their support specific and actionable, opportunities multiply.
The ripple effect extends far beyond a single introduction or call, it builds ecosystems where help moves faster than hierarchy.
That’s what real access looks like.