In a recent LinkedIn post, Vanessa Van Edwards urges a re-evaluation of how we prioritize friendships, arguing that social connections should be treated as essential health maintenance rather than an optional reward for later. Van Edwards challenges the common tendency to defer relationship building until after other, often never-ending, life tasks are completed.
She begins by outlining this common procrastination: “We treat friendship like a reward we’ll finally get around to once the real, important stuff is handled. After this deadline. After the kids are a little older. After things calm down — which, let’s be honest, they never quite do.”
The Physiological Impact of Social Ties
Van Edwards backs her argument with scientific research, emphasizing the tangible health benefits of strong relationships. She points to studies that have tracked individuals’ social ties against their physiological markers. “When researchers tracked people’s social ties against their actual physiology — not how they FELT, but what was happening in their bodies — strong relationships lined up with lower blood pressure, lower BMI, and less inflammation, across the entire span of a life,” Van Edwards shares.
The data, she explains, is stark. A comprehensive review of existing research revealed that the survival advantage conferred by robust social connections is as significant as the detrimental effects of habits like smoking. Van Edwards highlights the disconnect between this scientific reality and our societal perception: “We just never talk about it that way.”
Reframing Connection as ‘Maintenance’
To underscore the importance of consistent effort in maintaining friendships, Van Edwards draws a parallel to physical health practices. “We’d never call going to the gym ‘optional, when there’s time.’ We treat it as basic maintenance,” she states.
She contends that the actions required to nurture friendships—such as calling a friend or sending a text—fall into the same category of essential self-care, even though they may not feel as immediately urgent or physiologically taxing as a workout. “But the friend you keep meaning to call, the text you keep drafting and not sending — that’s the same category of health behavior. It just doesn’t FEEL like one, because it happens to be pleasant,” Van Edwards observes.
An Actionable Step for Prioritization
Concluding her post, Van Edwards provides a clear call to action: reclassify social connection from a future aspiration to a current necessity. “So here’s my action step for you: don’t file connection under ‘someday.’ File it under ‘maintenance,’ right next to the stuff you’d never skip,” she advises.
She prompts readers to identify individuals they have been meaning to reconnect with, suggesting that the present moment is an opportune time to take that step. Van Edwards’s message serves as a powerful reminder that investing in our social well-being is not a luxury but a fundamental aspect of a healthy life.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Vanessa Van Edwards on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on September 4, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →