Rethinking Grit: Emily Lyons Challenges Conventional Wisdom on Success

In a recent LinkedIn post, Emily Lyons challenges the long-held interpretation of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment and redefines the nature of grit and perseverance. Lyons argues that the experiment, often cited to demonstrate the link between self-control and future success, may have overlooked crucial environmental factors influencing children’s decisions.

The traditional narrative, as Lyons points out, centers on the idea that delaying gratification—waiting for a second marshmallow—is a direct predictor of later-life success. However, Lyons introduces a more nuanced perspective:

“Children who didn’t wait often came from unstable homes. They weren’t impulsive. They were rational. If your environment is unpredictable, you take the marshmallow now because you don’t trust the second one will still be there.”

The Role of Environment in Perceived ‘Grit’

Lyons personalizes this perspective, reflecting on her own experiences:

“I would have eaten the marshmallow. Not because I lacked discipline. Because nothing in my life had ever taught me that waiting paid off. No safety net. No degree. No one handing me a roadmap and saying ‘just be patient, it’ll work out.'”

This personal anecdote serves to highlight her central thesis: what appears as a lack of self-control or grit can, in many cases, be a rational survival strategy shaped by a lack of trust in future outcomes. Lyons contends that the drive to succeed, particularly in early entrepreneurial stages, is often rooted in necessity rather than inherent discipline.

Survival vs. Grit

According to Emily Lyons, the intense effort often labeled as ‘grit’ during challenging times, such as starting a business with limited resources, is more accurately described as survival. She elaborates on this distinction:

“When I started my first company with no money, I wasn’t grinding because I believed in the future. I was grinding because I had nothing to lose. That’s not grit. That’s survival.”

Lyons traces the development of true grit to a later stage, one where a foundation of stability and trust has been established. This occurs not through sheer willpower alone, but through a series of positive experiences that build confidence in the future. She notes that grit emerges when actions are met with positive reinforcement, and promises are kept without negative repercussions.

Building Trust as the Foundation for Perseverance

The core message from Lyons’s post is a reframing of perseverance. She asserts that it is not simply an internal trait but is fundamentally dependent on an individual’s belief in a stable and rewarding future. For many, particularly those from challenging backgrounds, this belief is not innate and must be cultivated.

Lyons concludes by emphasizing that true grit is built over time, through consistent experiences that foster trust. She posits:

“The lesson isn’t ‘have more grit.’ It’s that perseverance depends on trust in the future. And for a lot of people, that trust has to be built from scratch…one kept promise at a time.”

This perspective shifts the focus from individualistic notions of discipline to the societal and environmental factors that enable or hinder the development of perseverance. Lyons suggests that supporting individuals in building this foundational trust is key to unlocking their potential for long-term success, challenging leaders and society to consider the conditions under which grit can truly flourish.