In a recent LinkedIn post, Shulin Lee discusses a profound personal shift in how she views and handles rejection, moving from self-doubt to self-respect. Lee shares her journey of learning that chasing validation from those who don’t recognize one’s worth is ultimately detrimental to self-esteem.
Lee recounts her past approach to rejection, which involved intensifying her efforts in hopes of gaining approval. This often led to a diminishing sense of self-worth. She writes:
“But chasing people who don’t see your value doesn’t make them value you. It just makes you forget your own worth.”
The Turning Point: Shifting the Question
The critical juncture in Lee’s perspective, as detailed in her post, came when she altered the fundamental question she asked herself. Instead of dwelling on why others might reject her, she began to question her own pattern of pursuing those who were not receptive.
“The shift happened when I stopped asking ‘why don’t they like me?’ and started asking ‘why do I keep CHASING people who don’t?'” Lee explains. This reorientation was pivotal.
Embracing Self-Respect Over External Validation
This new line of inquiry, according to Lee, empowered her to make significant changes in her behavior and outlook. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing when an environment or relationship is not conducive to one’s growth and well-being.
As Lee puts it:
“I stopped begging for seats at tables that weren’t built for me. I stopped shrinking to make others comfortable. And I started choosing myself – not out of arrogance, but out of self-respect.”
This act of choosing oneself, Lee clarifies, is not rooted in arrogance but in a fundamental sense of self-respect. It signifies a move away from seeking external validation towards an internal locus of control and self-worth.
Rejection’s Enduring Sting, Redefined Impact
While Lee acknowledges that rejection can still be painful, she asserts that it no longer dictates her identity or worth. The sting may persist, but its defining power has been neutralized by her evolved perspective.
She notes the difference in how rejection is now perceived:
“Rejection still stings. It probably always will. But it no longer defines me.”
Lee concludes by highlighting a key realization: individuals who truly value you will not require persistent pursuit. They will naturally integrate into your life, demonstrating reciprocal interest and appreciation.
“Because the right people? They don’t make you chase. They just show up,” Lee states, underscoring the effortlessness of healthy connections.
Concluding her post, Lee offers a P.S. with the adage, “Rejection is God’s protection,” and a lighthearted reminder that not everyone will like you, just as you don’t like everyone.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Shulin Lee on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on May 23, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →