Simon Squibb Shares Seven Secrets to a Long and Happy Marriage

In a recent LinkedIn post, Simon Squibb shares intimate details and actionable advice on maintaining a long and happy marriage, drawing from his 26 years with his wife, Helen, and 19 years of marriage. Squibb frames his insights not as pronouncements, but as lessons learned and principles that have guided his relationship.

He begins by highlighting the foundational importance of shared values, recalling a pivotal moment during a business crisis in 2008. Squibb recounts his initial instinct to prioritize the company and staff over creditors when faced with financial difficulties. However, his wife Helen offered a different perspective, emphasizing a promise made to their people. Squibb acknowledges her wisdom, stating:

“She was right and thank god I had the right person by my side to show me what a good moral code look like.”

Core Principles for Marital Success

Squibb outlines seven key principles that he believes are crucial for a thriving partnership. These range from navigating disagreements to fostering gratitude and independence.

Embracing Disagreement and Clear Roles

Squibb asserts that comfort with arguments is not a sign of a failing relationship, but rather an opportunity for growth. He notes that he and Helen disagree on many things, including parenting styles, but they consistently find common ground through mutual respect. This principle extends to their professional lives as well, where they established a company together with clearly defined responsibilities. Squibb explains this dynamic:

“The same applies in our personal lives. We have clear roles and responsibilities.”

This clarity, according to Squibb, prevents overlap and potential conflict, allowing each partner to contribute effectively.

The Power of Shared Ownership and Gratitude

A significant point Squibb makes is the necessity of shared ownership, not just of assets but of life itself. He criticizes the practice of hiding finances from a partner, calling it a “recipe for disaster.” Squibb emphasizes radical transparency, stating that he has never kept a secret from his wife since their second date.

Gratitude is another cornerstone of their relationship. Squibb observes how easily people look for greener pastures, but he advocates for appreciating and nurturing what one already has. He shares his daily practice of reminding himself how fortunate he is to have a supportive and loving partner.

Independence and Generosity as Relationship Pillars

Squibb also champions the importance of individual independence within the partnership. He describes a system where both he and Helen have dedicated time each week for their own pursuits, fostering trust and preserving individual identity. This autonomy, he suggests, enhances their appreciation for their time as a couple.

Furthermore, Squibb highlights the principle of giving more than taking. He describes Helen as someone who is always giving and has taught him the value of selfless contribution. Squibb argues that genuine relationships are built on giving without expectation of return, preventing resentment and fostering unconditional care. He reflects:

“I believe give and take is wrong and the only way to build relationships that are genuine is give without take or give without expectation of anything in return.”

In conclusion, Simon Squibb’s LinkedIn post offers a candid and practical guide to building a lasting and joyful marriage, emphasizing mutual respect, transparency, shared values, and continuous effort.