In a recent LinkedIn post, Steven Bartlett shares his reflections on modern relationships, drawing heavily on advice from leading divorce lawyer James J. Sexton. Bartlett, who recently got engaged, sought Sexton’s expertise to understand how to foster a successful long-term partnership. The entrepreneur highlights that Sexton, with over two decades of experience, observes that most relationships don’t end due to a single catastrophic event but rather a slow, often unnoticed drift apart.
Bartlett frames the discussion around the pressures facing contemporary love and the necessity of effort to sustain it. He states:
“He’s been practising law for over 20 years, and he’s sat across from people whose relationships are ending. And what he’s seen is that most couples don’t fall apart because of one big moment. It’s often slow and unnoticed, and by the time couples realise it they’re already distant.”
The Pressure Points of Modern Love
Steven Bartlett delves into several critical questions that Sexton’s perspective brings to light. These include the perennial debate around prenuptial agreements, the art of constructive conflict within a relationship, and the complex reasons behind infidelity, even when love persists. Bartlett emphasizes that his own motivation for seeking this conversation was not to identify potential pitfalls but to gather actionable strategies.
According to Bartlett, the insights gained from Sexton’s real-world experience offer a grounded view on love, distinct from theoretical or overly optimistic approaches. He notes the value of Sexton’s plain-spoken advice, particularly concerning the reality of relationships when affection begins to wane.
Navigating Independence and Intimacy
A key theme explored in Bartlett’s post is the potential conflict between personal independence and relational intimacy. He uses a personal analogy, suggesting that years spent building one’s own success can inadvertently lead to isolation.
As Steven Bartlett points out:
“I’ve spent years building my own world – and like James said, sometimes that means you end up in a castle with a moat.”
This metaphor illustrates how a focus on individual achievement might inadvertently create emotional distance. Bartlett reflects on the ease with which people can prioritize accomplishments over deeper human connection, often only recognizing the value of relationships when they are at risk of being lost.
The Underrated Importance of Effort
Bartlett reiterates Sexton’s core message: love without consistent effort is unlikely to endure. He was particularly struck by the practical advice offered, which influenced his thinking about the kind of partner he aspires to be.
The entrepreneur highlights the overarching significance of love, even amidst discussions about independence.
“Because at the end of the day, it all comes back to love. We talk a lot about independence, but that mindset doesn’t always serve us in relationships.”
Bartlett concludes by suggesting that his conversation with Sexton is relevant for anyone currently in love or seeking to understand the dynamics that lead to relationship breakdowns. The post serves as a testament to the value of learning from seasoned professionals who have witnessed the realities of relationship struggles firsthand.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Steven Bartlett on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on February 12, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →