The Parental Superpower of Finding Lost Items, According to Ben Eubanks

In a recent LinkedIn post, Ben Eubanks humorously highlights the unique and often frustrating skill parents develop: the ability to find lost items. Eubanks frames this everyday challenge not just as a chore, but as a genuine “parent superpower,” born from years of dealing with disappearing belongings.

He shares the common scenario where children, after a cursory search, declare defeat with a helpless “I can’t find it.” For parents, as Eubanks points out, this is the signal to step in.

“That admission that something is lost is like the bat-signal for parents shining in the sky. It’s our call to action and glory (or at least avoidance of buying another pair of shoes, a new TV remote, or whatever’s been “lost”).”

Eubanks contrasts the typical child’s brief search with his own extensive, and often successful, track record. He notes that in over 15 years of parenting, he can count on one hand the number of times something has gone missing that he couldn’t eventually locate. When items do prove elusive, Eubanks categorizes the rare culprits into a few common scenarios: accidental disposal by toddlers, items falling out of vehicles, or the mysterious vanishing act into the depths of furniture.

The Extreme Cases of Lost and Found

While these scenarios are common, Eubanks recounts more extreme examples that underscore the sheer amount of time and effort dedicated to recovering misplaced objects. He details personal experiences that stretch the bounds of typical lost-and-found missions:

• Seven accumulated hours spent searching for a single pair of eyeglasses.
• Two and a half hours dedicated to finding a brand-new birthday toy that was ultimately discovered mere feet from where it was unwrapped.
• A two-week quest for a second shoe, inexplicably hidden in a car that the child in question had never even ridden in.

These anecdotes, according to Eubanks, illustrate the remarkable perseverance required of parents in such situations.

“So… Shout out to those that see a lost item as a personal challenge of your mettle and ability. It’s a tough calling, but someone has to step up!”

Eubanks further elaborates on the surprising discoveries often made during these searches. He paints a vivid, albeit slightly gross, picture of the eclectic mix of items that can be found by simply investigating overlooked places, like the underside of a couch cushion.

Unexpected Treasures and Parental Triumphs

The hidden contents of a couch cushion, as described by Eubanks, serve as a microcosm of the unpredictable nature of these searches. He lists findings such as:

• Seven dollars in change
• Half a banana
• The back of a TV remote
• Enough LEGOs to construct a small monument
• A third grader’s lost homework
• A handful of crushed Cheez-Its
• A toddler fork

This discovery process, Eubanks suggests, is akin to a “gross yet fascinating magic trick,” highlighting the strange realities of family life.

“Honestly, who ever thought that you could find seven dollars in change, half a banana, the back of the remote control, enough legos to build a Taj Mahal, the 3rd grader’s math homework, a handful of crushed Cheezits, and a toddler fork just by flipping up one couch cushion?”

Concluding his post, Eubanks turns the question to his audience, inviting them to share their own experiences with lost items, particularly during busy holiday periods. He poses questions about the weirdest places they’ve found things, the longest searches they’ve undertaken, or items that remain stubbornly lost to this day.