The ‘Secret’ to Resilience: Emily Lyons on Showing Up Despite the Fire

In a recent LinkedIn post, entrepreneur Emily Lyons offers a candid perspective on resilience, challenging the common perception of unwavering strength in the face of adversity. Lyons shares her own experiences, from business setbacks to profound personal loss, to illustrate that true resilience is not an inherent personality trait but a practiced ritual of showing up, even when it feels impossible.

Lyons begins by recounting a question she often receives after speaking engagements: “how I stay calm when everything’s on fire.” She humorously admits that the reality is far from a picture of unshakable composure. Her post details the numerous challenges faced by entrepreneurs, including employees quitting without notice, deals falling through after extensive effort, product launches that fall flat, and the necessity of legal action. However, she emphasizes that these business hurdles pale in comparison to personal tragedies.

“I’ve had to start stressful lawsuits. And worse than all of it: I’ve had family members fighting for their lives. I’ve lost them. And still had a company to run the next morning.”

Deconstructing the Myth of Unshakable Resilience

Lyons argues that many mistake resilience for an innate personality trait, envisioning an “unshakable” individual. She firmly rejects this notion, stating, “But, I’m not her. I’ve never met her. I’m not sure ‘she’ exists.” Instead, she proposes a more human, and perhaps more relatable, approach to navigating difficult times.

The Power of ‘Quitting’ Temporarily

Lyons reveals her actual “secret” to maintaining momentum: she quits, but only temporarily. This act of “quitting” is a deliberate emotional release. “I quit for twenty minutes. I quit in the shower. I quit on the drive home. I let myself fully, dramatically give up and sometimes have a good cry,” she explains. This intentional pause allows for processing difficult emotions before returning to the task at hand.

“Then the twenty minutes end, and, I get back to work.”

According to Lyons, the true definition of success after seventeen years in business is not measured by revenue or awards, but by the consistent act of showing up. This means continuing to engage with work and responsibilities despite experiencing upset, grief, public failure, or prolonged periods of stagnation and self-doubt.

Showing Up as a Practice, Not a Trait

Lyons emphasizes that showing up is not a matter of feeling motivated or capable. She acknowledges the presence of fear and pain, stating, “I feel the fire. I feel the fear, the pain. I allow myself to be human. But I still show up.” This act, she contends, is a ritual and a practice, often performed imperfectly while tired and scared, which eventually leads others to perceive one as unshakable.

“Showing up isn’t a personality. It’s a ritual. A practice. Something you do badly, tired, and scared until one day people call you unshakable. They never see the twenty minutes.”

Lyons concludes by reflecting on the disparity between internal struggles and external perception. She shares that there have been nights filled with the conviction that everything she had built was collapsing. Yet, she trusts the person who reappears in the morning, highlighting the power of consistent action over fleeting negative thoughts. As she puts it, “Seventeen years later, I don’t trust my thoughts at 11 p.m. I trust the woman who shows up at 8 a.m.” Her insights underscore the importance of emotional processing and the disciplined practice of persistence in achieving long-term success and resilience.