The Trap of External Validation: Shulin Lee on Self-Worth Beyond Societal Standards

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Shulin Lee

LinkedIn Author

#1 LinkedIn Creator 🇸🇬 | Founder helping you level up⚡️Follow for Careers & Work Culture insights⚡️Lawyer turned Recruiter

In a recent LinkedIn post, Shulin Lee delves into the pervasive societal conditioning that can lead individuals to believe they are “never good enough.” Lee highlights how educational systems, societal norms, and familial expectations often instill a sense of inadequacy, pushing people to constantly seek external validation throughout their adult lives.

Shulin Lee opens the discussion with a stark assertion that many can relate to: “You were never good enough. Or at least… that’s what you were taught.” This powerful statement sets the stage for an exploration of how these deeply ingrained beliefs shape our actions and self-perception.

The Roots of Perceived Inadequacy

Lee points to the influence of institutions and societal structures in shaping this narrative of not being “enough.” The post references a conversation with Christopher Tan, who shared insights on the historical perception of polytechnic students in Singapore being viewed as “second tier.” This illustrates how specific educational pathways can become markers of perceived intelligence or elite status, contributing to feelings of inferiority for those who don’t fit a certain mold.

As Shulin Lee observes, this sense of falling short can manifest in various social contexts: “At family gatherings. In comparisons. In silence.” This internalizes the external judgment, creating a continuous cycle of trying to prove one’s worth to parents, society, and ultimately, oneself.

The Uncomfortable Truth: Internalizing Judgment

The core of Lee’s message revolves around a critical distinction: the difference between being judged by the world and judging oneself by the world’s standards. Shulin Lee writes:

“The world will judge you. On what you wear. Where you studied. What you have. That will not change. But here is what most people get wrong. You start to judge yourself by those same standards. That is the trap.”

This highlights the internal battle many face. While external judgments are often unavoidable, Lee argues that the true trap lies in adopting these external metrics as one’s own internal compass for self-worth. This leads to a perpetual chase for approval, a path that can be emotionally exhausting and unfulfilling.

Breaking Free: Choosing Self-Acceptance

Shulin Lee proposes a path forward centered on conscious choice and self-acceptance. The post challenges readers to consider whose standards they are truly living by, suggesting that at some point, individuals must decide to define their own value.

Lee emphasizes the power of this decision: “You can spend your life chasing approval. Or you can decide you were enough all along. Because the biggest trap is not being judged. It is believing the judgment.” This perspective shifts the focus from external circumstances to internal agency, empowering individuals to reclaim their self-worth.

The underlying message is one of liberation from the burden of societal expectations. By recognizing that external judgments are a constant but not an immutable truth about one’s value, individuals can begin to dismantle the internal barriers that prevent self-acceptance. Shulin Lee’s post serves as a poignant reminder that true worth is not determined by external accolades or societal comparisons, but by the internal decision to believe in one’s own inherent sufficiency.

📝 About This Content

This article is based on insights shared by Shulin Lee on LinkedIn.

📅 Originally posted on March 10, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →