In a recent LinkedIn post, Golddy Kaur delves into the nuanced relationship between personal desires (‘want’) and the essential requirements for growth (‘need’). Kaur challenges the common perception that wanting is detrimental, instead framing it as a vital source of information about our inner selves, while highlighting the potential pitfalls of allowing wants to morph into controlling expectations.
Kaur begins by posing a thought-provoking question: if the universe provides what we need, not necessarily what we want, does that invalidate our desires? The answer, according to Kaur, is a resounding no. “Want is information, surfacing from within,” Kaur writes, explaining that it serves to reveal our deepest desires, future directions, and the current state of our identity.
“But want becomes distortion when it turns into control. When you assume: Reality must bend to your timeline, Your preferences, Your projections. Know that you are trying to control what’s not in your control.”
Understanding the Distinction Between Want and Need
The core of Kaur’s message lies in differentiating between want and need. While want points towards aspiration, need, as Kaur defines it, is the more grounded reality that demands development. “Need is the part of reality that refuses to cooperate with your illusions,” Kaur states, suggesting that need represents the areas requiring strengthening to achieve our goals.
Kaur elaborates on this distinction using a series of powerful analogies:
- Want shows you what you’re reaching for; Need shows you what you must strengthen to reach it.
- Want is the signal; Need is the scaffolding.
This perspective reframes setbacks not as punishments, but as opportunities for development. Kaur argues that when circumstances don’t align with our wants, it’s the universe’s way of highlighting the gap between our current capabilities and the readiness required for the life we envision.
Reframing Challenges as Training
Kaur further posits that friction, delays, and redirections are not obstacles but rather crucial elements of life’s curriculum designed to build resilience and prepare individuals for their aspirations. This perspective encourages a shift in how challenges are perceived.
“When you want clarity but receive confusion, you’re being trained to hold ambiguity.”
According to Kaur, these experiences serve as specific training modules:
- Receiving confusion instead of clarity is training in holding ambiguity.
- Experiencing stillness instead of momentum is training in patience and precision.
- Facing distance instead of connection is training in self-resonance over external validation.
“Want is a compass,” Kaur writes, “Need is the curriculum, structure, and discipline to move towards it.” This highlights the active role individuals must play in developing the capabilities necessary to navigate towards their desires.
The Path to Peace: Embracing the Curriculum
The true work, as outlined by Golddy Kaur, is not about suppressing desires but about cultivating the inner strength to withstand reality’s refusal to immediately comply. Peace, in Kaur’s view, arises from the understanding that while wants set the direction, it is need that builds the essential capabilities for the journey.
“The work is not to suppress wants. It’s to stop collapsing when reality doesn’t immediately comply.”
Kaur concludes by shifting the focus from a potentially disempowering question to a more constructive one. Instead of asking, “Why am I not getting what I want?” Kaur suggests the more potent inquiry is: “What is this moment trying to strengthen in me?” This reframing encourages a proactive and growth-oriented mindset in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.
📝 About This Content
This article is based on insights shared by Golddy Kaur on LinkedIn.
📅 Originally posted on March 13, 2026 | View original post on LinkedIn →