Understanding Generational Differences in Fatherly Affection, According to Ankur Warikoo

In a recent LinkedIn post, Ankur Warikoo explores the often unspoken ways fathers from certain generations express love and affection. Warikoo delves into the cultural and generational norms that may have limited overt displays of emotion, such as hugs, while highlighting the profound, albeit different, ways these fathers demonstrated care and provided for their families.

Warikoo begins by acknowledging a common experience for many: fathers who were not physically affectionate. He posits that this reticence is often misunderstood.

For most of us, our fathers rarely hugged us. Maybe he is a cold man. Most likely he is not. Most likely he is simply from a generation that showed love by paying school fees on time and never once saying it out loud.

According to Ankur Warikoo, this generation of fathers often equated providing for their children with expressing love. The acts of ensuring financial stability, putting food on the table, and supporting educational pursuits were their primary language of affection.

The Silent Language of Provision

Ankur Warikoo argues that for many fathers of a certain era, actions spoke louder than words. The commitment to work, even at the expense of personal appearances like attending parent-teacher meetings, was framed as a necessary sacrifice to ensure the family’s well-being.

By putting food on the table and never claiming credit for it. By missing the parent-teacher meeting for the job because the job was the reason the meeting could happen at all.

Warikoo suggests that these acts of provision were the tangible evidence of love. He points out that while words of affirmation might have been scarce, the foundation of the family’s security and opportunities was meticulously built through these efforts.

A Different Kind of Embrace

The turning point, as described by Warikoo, often comes when the child achieves significant milestones. It is at these moments that the father may finally offer a physical gesture of pride and connection.

And then one day, when we get our first job, our first car, our first lakh, our first house, our first gift for him, he puts his hand on our shoulder and leaves it there for ten seconds. That is the hug.

In Ankur Warikoo’s view, this delayed, yet meaningful, gesture serves as the culmination of years of silent support. It is a moment where the father’s pride and love are finally communicated, bridging the gap created by generational differences in expressing emotion.

Bridging the Generational Divide in Parenting

Warikoo concludes his post with a poignant reflection for the next generation of fathers. He emphasizes the importance of integrating overt verbal and physical affection with the traditional acts of provision.

Your father may not have given you words. But he gave you everything except the words. So when you become a father, remember to add the words.

Ankur Warikoo’s insights offer a valuable perspective on understanding paternal love across different generations. By recognizing the silent sacrifices and the unique ways love was expressed, individuals can gain a deeper appreciation for their fathers’ contributions, while also being mindful of the importance of verbal and physical affirmation in contemporary parenting.